As we approach a new decade, it’s interesting to look back and see how we’ve grown and changed. I’ve been seeing the 10-year challenge floating around social media, the one where you compare pictures of yourself from 10 years ago and today. But I don’t have to look back for a picture to remember how different my life was 10 years ago. Black Friday 2009 was a turning point in my life, when an unexpected health crisis set me on a different path. 10 years ago, the Friday after Thanksgiving, I found myself in unbearable pain in the emergency room in Charleston, SC. What was supposed to be a fun weekend getaway turned into a traumatic event that would change the course of my life. Only in hindsight could I realize that the Universe was guiding me to my calling.

 My husband and I had spent the usual Thanksgiving at home, overindulging in food and drink. We were up early on Black Friday nonetheless, not for any kind of crazy shopping spree, but to hit the road to Charleston for a 2-night Panic run (our favorite band, Widespread Panic, was playing 2 nights at North Charleston Coliseum). I wasn’t feeling that great as we prepared to head out that morning. My stomach hurt and I was bloated and constipated. I blew it off thinking I had just eaten too much turkey and pumpkin pie. Plus, it was nothing new for me to be constipated. Wasn’t everyone? I was sure it would pass. So we packed up and hit the road for the 4-hour drive south. The more time that passed in the car, the worse I felt. I hadn’t eaten anything yet that day and wasn’t feeling the least bit hungry, but I forced down a fast food burger when we cruised through a drive-thru, hoping that the greasy food would eventually relieve my symptoms. 30 minutes later I felt even worse. Greasy fast food was definitely not the answer. By the time we made it to Charleston and checked into our hotel, I wasn’t sure if I’d be up for going to the show. I didn’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable. I told my husband I needed to rest for a bit, and thought maybe I just needed a laxative. He ran to the store for me, and then left me to rest while he went to meet up with some of our friends. I took the laxative and within 20 minutes my pain level surged from highly uncomfortable to unbearable. I reached for my phone from my curled up spot on the hotel bed and sent my husband a text, “Sell my ticket.” He was back in our room without delay. He knew it had to be really bad if I was willing to miss seeing my friends and my favorite band; this was unheard of for me! I told him something was terribly wrong and wondered if I might have appendicitis. I was now in tears from the pain and my teeth were starting to chatter from chills. He did a quick search on his computer (smart phones weren’t a thing yet) and my symptoms were lining up with seemed to be an acute appendicitis: severe abdominal pain beginning in the belly and moving to the right side, loss of appetite, nausea, fever, chills. No doubt about it, I couldn’t risk seeing if this would subside on its own. Barely able to stand, doubled over in severe pain, I made it back to the car with my husband’s help and we headed for the closest emergency room.

I was quickly taken back for triage and after running several tests and X-rays I was told that there seemed to be some kind of blockage in my gut. I would need emergency surgery to determine exactly what was going on and remove whatever was causing the block. Best-case scenario: my appendix would be removed and I could go home tomorrow. Worst-case scenario: my colon was infected and might need to be removed and I’d come out with a colostomy bag. I was either in too much pain or loopy from pain meds to register the seriousness and potential outcome. I just wanted to feel better. Fortunately, I ended up somewhere in between the best and worst case. I had a severe infection in my colon, which the doc said had been building over a long period of time. Part of my infected colon was removed along with my appendix, and the surgeon was able to miraculously stitch my colon back together with no need for a colostomy bag. Unfortunately, my digestive system was thrown for a loop and had to relearn how to do its job. I stayed in the hospital for a full week, unable to eat or even keep liquids down. I’ll spare you all the painful details and just say it was one of the most challenging, painful and frustrating times of my life. I just wanted to go home and get back to normal.

My mind and my body were not on the same page when I returned home. I tried to immediately go back to work, not wanting to get even more behind than I already was in my high-stress, face-paced job. I worked from home so I thought it would be fine to just bring my computer to the couch. The small steps I had made forward in my recovery dropped backwards, as the stress of my job and focusing my energy there took away from the energy my body needed to heal. After 2 days of struggling to work, trying not to take too many pain meds, and still reeling in pain every time I tried to eat, my boss told me I should consider short-term disability. I took her advice, took the next month off, and focused on getting well.

As I recuperated, I started questioning how this all happened. The doctors in Charleston didn’t really have a solid explanation. They didn’t attribute the infection to my diet or lifestyle. They simply said it was an infection that had built up over a long period of time, the infection was removed, and I shouldn’t have to worry about it ever again. I wasn’t so sure and wasn’t willing to take that risk without doing a little research of my own. While I thought I had been pretty healthy, I slowly came to realize that my diet and lifestyle were anything but. Coffee for breakfast, lean cuisine and diet coke for lunch while working away at my computer, late evening runs without stretching followed by late dinners and lots of weekend cocktails to manage the stress of my demanding corporate job – this was my idea of healthy. My transition to a more holistic view of health didn’t happen overnight, but this event started the questioning, which led to the learning, which led to the realization that if I really wanted to take care of my health I needed to make some changes. 

Looking back, 10 years later, it really is amazing to see how this small health crisis was the catalyst for everything that has brought me to now. I slowly started letting go of unhealthy foods and habits. The more I learned the more I wanted to share. I left the security of my high-paying, high-stress job for a slower paced lifestyle and work that was more aligned with my heart. I took a risk and opened my own business, which came with a new set of challenges, but in a way that resonated differently than anything I’d done before. I was thirsty for knowledge and eager to keep learning. Still navigating this newfound world of holistic health and entrepreneurship, I learned more every day, and I learned so much about myself. I committed to a regular yoga practice, I gave up fast food and sodas and meat. I became a yoga teacher, eventually went vegan, and I finally gave up alcohol, which I knew was doing more harm for me than good. And now, on the cusp of a new decade, I’m still learning and continuing to evolve. In January I’ll begin a whole new journey as I embark on a three-year program to become a yoga therapist. I feel confident that all the twists and turns on the path through the last decade have been leading me here, and I’ve never felt more sure about what it is I want to do, what I’m meant to do with my life.

Often when we’re in the middle of the storm it’s hard to see or understand how such immense pain and difficulty could be what we most need to get us where we need to be. But from times of great hardship come great growth. The soul always knows the way, if we can trust that obstacles are often detours in the right direction, and light still comes through in the dark places. The most amazing, beautiful, disco soul-busting kind of light.